My Brain, My Bane

One of the prime purposes of the brain is reasoning, thinking of ways and means to adapt to any situation that we might face in our lives. However, the experiences I have had with mine tell a different tale. I believe that my brain is this devious sinister personality whose sole aim in life is to screw me around.

For instance, I was in an argument, a while back. The other guy pitched a point against me. Instead of retorting with a clever comeback, I just sat there blankly glaring at the guy. Finally, failing to respond after a few blank moments, I just walked away from there mumbling a few abuses. Another instance would be when I saw my crush walking towards me, one fine day. I intended to compliment her cleverly with a hint of humor so that I could make her smile and not sound cheesy. Instead, I blurted out something unintelligible coupled with a hysterical chuckle looking like a complete tool. The result was that I creeped her out.

Then, a while later I was in the loo musing over the happenings of the day. And suddenly I hear this voice inside me that suggests me five splendid comebacks that could have nailed that argument to the wall. The same voice goes on to suggest me four brilliant compliments which would have definitely made a lasting impact on my crush who probably thinks that I am a retard. That voice is my brain’s.

But that’s not all. My brain instills in me these crazy urges on very crucial nights. Generally, on the eve of my examinations, I have this sudden hankering to sketch something or read about Attila the Hun’s lineage or something else. And I am driven by an inspiration which could probably match Michelangelo’s before he attempted the Sistine Chapel, to fulfill these urges. As such, I spend crucial hours sketching a werewolf on a door or start cramming knowledge totally irrelevant to the exam which I barely scrape through in the end. I am never bothered by these urges once the exams are over.


And lastly, the most destructive aspect of my brain. Furnishing wrong information at the wrong place and wrong time. This happened in the Synthetic Biology class when the professor asked, “Have you heard about Carpal Tunnel Syndrome?”…Now I will recount entire thought process that ensued:

Brain: Go on! Raise your hand! Remember that time when we read about it.

Me : Well you see I am a bit sketchy with the details. Actually apart from the name, I don’t remember anything.

Brain: Don’t be ridiculous. I will access the memory vault and you will have all the information in no time. Just raise your hand! Look around, no one knows the answer.

So hesitatingly, I raised my hand and no sooner did I do this than I received that memory. It was not some article or wiki page but a non-veg joke. It was about a guy who caught his son masturbating for the umpteenth time and was chiding him. He said, “Son, if you keep on going at this rate, no one could save you from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome”.

And that was it. I didn’t respond for a few seconds. Looking at my flushed face, my prof repeated the question. I started stuttering, blurting out random irrelevant stuff because while I was getting over the fact that I was only a few moments shy of uttering the word “masturbating” in front of a female professor, my brain suggested that I should let out a laugh as the joke was funny. Somehow, I braced myself and said that I knew about this syndrome but I cannot describe it right now. I darted out of the class as soon as the session was over and let out a sigh of relief.

So considering the above instances, I guess it’s safe to assume that my brain is not my ally. I sometimes remember that scene from Game of Thrones (Epic TV Series and even more Epic Books) in which Ned Stark was held at knifepoint in his time of need by his “supposed” ally Littlefinger. I can actually visualize myself as Stark and my brain as Littlefinger sporting a fiendish smile. And in Littlefinger’s voice, my brain says, “I told you not to trust me!”…  




4 thoughts on “My Brain, My Bane

  1. written nicely 🙂 but in second para were u left looking like a complete fool …..or a tool..cause u never know with your satire 🙂

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