It’s been around 13 months since I have written anything. I was actually wondering when a blogger becomes an ex-blogger. Is it when your blog reminds of the deserted Wild West town alley with tumbleweeds rolling across? I could almost visualize that scene. Not too proud of it but something changed. A Not Caring attitude to a different form of Not Caring one.
The former not caring attitude was about me having a say about something and not caring about other’s opinion. I used to have an opinion in my mind, extreme negativity towards something very positive or die-hard positivity towards something deemed positive. If something happened, oh I had something to say about it. I used to be so opinionated! (Not necessarily a good thing but to me it’s still better than the general apathy).
So back then, someone would raise an issue and I would effortlessly get worked up and shoot out stuff like “The Fall of Man”, “Death to the Tyrant”, or simply “Inquilaab Zindabaad”. But nowadays it’s like defibrillator constantly charging my mind to say something and all I can manage is something like, “Well I feel that…I don’t know sometimes…”.
I have an idea what brought forth this change. Remember how enthralled you were when you visited the circus for the first time (those who haven’t, imagine something!). The awe all that chaos out there filled you with! But it’s difficult to deliver that same excitement when your life becomes one big circus. Back then, I was in the controlled environment of my college. The rarity of chaotic events made it possible to absorb it and register an opinion. But when such events become as routine as the sun in the sky, it just stops impacting you. And the increasing number of clowns around me doesn’t help either.
So when life experiences are out of the picture what else is there to write about…Politics! Back then (even though it isn’t that back), the scene was still better. There were not-so-frequent incidents you could write about. They still happened but they were rare enough to evoke a reaction. I don’t know how to portray the current Indian Political scene in a way that I am not branded a follower of a Party X by the followers of Mr. Incorruptible-Secularist-whom-even-USA-fears, Mr. Empowered-user-of-random-scientific-stuff-in-speeches or Mr. Man-bringing-change-but-ended-up-changing-himself. Let’s just say that a Twilight remake or Beiber egging the neighbours makes as much sense as what’s happening out there. A while back, I read some analogy between A Game of Thrones and Indian Politics. Never before have I ever felt a greater compulsion to wave my index and say “Never Ever, Ever Ever!”. I mean how do you even compare something which has Dragons, Wolves, Swords, Battleships, Ice-Zombies, Brainy Imp, Crotch Monsters, etc. with something which only has morphed and photoshopped images of one another. It’s not even apple and oranges. It’s more like bottle gourd and roasted chicken! (No offence to bottle gourd lovers but you get the idea, right?)
So how do you write about something as “A Clockwork Orange” as that whilst keeping your own sanity intact. It makes no sense to make fun of something that embodies the spirit and captures the true essence of the word “Ridiculous”. I could see my motto (“In the Brightest Day, In the Darkest Night, No absurdity shall escape my sight”) failing. Absurdity is the new Normal and how can you defeat Normal! I will have to scout for other genres to write about. Maybe about that transdimensional state you reach with a little help. Maybe I will change the name of the blog. Maybe Mellow Satty or something…I don’t know.
There have been outbursts though. Like looking over your shoulder becomes a second nature after a life of crime, so does being opinionated after a life full of opinions. So I end up constantly giving Gyaan to random people or post 573 worded opinions on arbitrary FB posts. Let’s see how long this stint lasts.