Mind It, Oh Mindless One!

The intricacies of the human mind perplex me. Considering the stupidity running amok around us, I find it hard to believe that we are the most evolved ones around. Now this one is not going to be about what people like or dislike. There are those who don’t like Tarantino or Nolan and those who like white trash or Indian rap trash music. Yes, I judge them but I wouldn’t call them stupid. No, this one digs a tad deeper. It’s about those who are behaviourally stupid. The purest and most innate form of stupidity that is unyielding and incorruptible.

The thing is that this behavioural stupidity is wrought so deep in our mind that we don’t even realize it. I mean I do because I am writing this post after all but majority don’t :P. For instance, we made a law to make people wear seatbelts, to make them wear helmets, to make them not to drive under the influence of alcohol (or substance). Do people care enough to obey them? No! But print “Hand Wash Only” on the back of a T-shirt, and people will follow it as if it came from the mouth of a Fifth Dimensional Being! You have to realize that something went wrong over the course of evolution when you have to pass laws and make not following basic safety, a punishable offence.

There are some valid reasons people have for not following basic safety rules. Mind you, these are actual statements of some very real and surprisingly alive people. “Helmets mess up my hairstyle”, “Seatbelts put a crease on my dress, I just had it ironed”, “Daru peeke tez car nahi chalayi, toh kya hi kiya life mein (If you haven’t ever driven under the influence of alcohol then what have you achieved in life)” are a few of the awesome reasons.

And the best part is that we do wear seatbelts and helmets in a different setting. Oh yeah, seatbelt in an airplane and helmet while skydiving. Because nothing protects a human being falling from 20000 feet like a seatbelt and a helmet!

I realize now that this post has become a tad more of a tirade than a humorous post. But if this makes you wear a helmet and drive sober, I would say “Mischief Managed”



Of Food, Culture and Something Deeper

Cooking, I believe is one of the few things that dances on such a slippery ground around the fine line between Art and Science. There is so much chemistry and maths behind a well-executed dish. At the same time, it is a pure test of your sensory imagination to plate something that lights up your eyes and tastes divine at the same time. And add to that, there is this air of mystery around it when you consider all the starkly contrasting flavors that pair together resulting in pure decadence. Like Chocolate and Orange or Caramel and Chilli for that matter. And this is why I love cooking.

But the food world has gone a notch higher. It has transcended cultures across the world in terms of marrying different indigenous styles of cooking to different indigenous ingredients. So we end up with something like an Octopus Curry or a Beef Madras at one end of the spectrum and Paneer Stroganoff at the other. And the best part is that the food world continues to push the envelope to come up with dishes (pardon the sexual connotation ahead) that are an orgasm in your mouth. Granted that there may be a few wacky ones borne out of this mad experimentation like a Noodles and Garam Masala. But you have to applaud the effort that goes into the attempt to inculcate something so foreign into your staple. And everything tastes delicious!

And that is what the world needs to learn. The willingness to embrace things that are alien to us and that there is no competition or ranking. People are so caught up with the love for their religion, skin color (red bell pepper tastes as good as a yellow or a green one) and the boundaries around their piece of land (read as National Pride) that they have become oblivious to the reality that someone else’s might be just as good. There is no attempt to understand each other. If you can go as far as to mix Chinese cuisine with Indian spices, maybe you can try to understand the other person’s belief. If you don’t like it, you can avoid it. Most people don’t like Blue Cheese and you don’t ever have to try it again if you didn’t like it. But you cannot create a “Paneer is better than Blue Cheese” propaganda just because you don’t like it. Similarly, there is no ranking when it comes to a religion or a skin color for that matter. There are just preferences and everyone is welcome to stick to their own

It’s a very simple world where everyone loves a piping hot plate of delicious food be it a pasta, a curry or that Indo-Chinese fusion. Eat what you like, believe what you like and stop cribbing about what the other person likes.

Bizzaro Mind

It’s no wonder that trite things seem a tad more profound when you’re not you. By “not you”, I mean a state of mind induced by a little of “something”. You might question my choice of words when I say “not you”. Actually you reflect your truest self when you are in this state. You know I got a good feeling about this post. I feel that I am going to complete this one unlike the last four which never saw the light of the day. Sorry, I digressed there for a moment. Pardon me, but isn’t it fun to digress? You explore all those unchartered avenues on potentially important issues when you digress. Think of all those remarkable discoveries/inventions that happened just because people digressed. You can say that to achieve something truly remarkable, you need to digress.
I am digressing over the topic of digress!! Gosh, I love it! Well getting back to point (somehow, my point seems boring now! Nevertheless, I am going to finish it). So I was talking about the simple things that may not be that simple but because of its apparent simplicity, we choose to ignore it (because we are ignorant and indifferent idiots). So today, the weather of Bangalore was partly sunny and partly cloudy (and my 21st floor apartment balcony gives me a very accurate estimate of the cloudy and sunny areas. I know a lot of people will consider the 21st floor thing as bragging, stick to it, and it would probably be the only thing lingering in their small minds but right now, my indifference to all those mortal instincts can bring Marcus Brutus to shame 😛 ). Sorry I digressed again. Man, this is tough. So I went to investigate this partly cloudy, partly sunny phenomenon on my Hero Ranger (Again, with the bragging). And I reach that point of transcendence from sunny to cloudy. My mind was blown! I mean, here I was standing in the warmth of the sun and I stride later, the sun was gone, disappeared into some oblivion! Also, my strides are fairly small so the point of transcendence may actually be just a line.
So with my mind blown, I returned to my apartment and started contemplating over the brilliance of nature I had just observed. Nature acts in such obscure ways but the meaning is really simple. Life can sometimes be cloudy and be sunny on other occasions. But instead of cursing or maybe ignoring the cloudy part( Cloudy = Bad/Sunny = Good, reverse the meanings if you tend walk the other path), we should actually appreciate the beauty of this transition. It shows us that life will never be the same. The different shades from sunny to cloudy actually break the monotonicity of life (which can be so dull!). So don’t be a sucker. Appreciate the different transitions in life with the same mindset as you would welcome a new opportunity!
I seem to be losing this train of thought. I am probably losing this state and I am a bit disappointed. It was difficult to reach this state and being in e-commerce for over an year, I am thinking that there can be an easier way. Wouldn’t it be awesome if you could get it delivered right to your doorstep? The best part is that If it’s not there in 30 minutes, I mean, like, what is time anyway, man!

My Brain, My Bane

One of the prime purposes of the brain is reasoning, thinking of ways and means to adapt to any situation that we might face in our lives. However, the experiences I have had with mine tell a different tale. I believe that my brain is this devious sinister personality whose sole aim in life is to screw me around.

For instance, I was in an argument, a while back. The other guy pitched a point against me. Instead of retorting with a clever comeback, I just sat there blankly glaring at the guy. Finally, failing to respond after a few blank moments, I just walked away from there mumbling a few abuses. Another instance would be when I saw my crush walking towards me, one fine day. I intended to compliment her cleverly with a hint of humor so that I could make her smile and not sound cheesy. Instead, I blurted out something unintelligible coupled with a hysterical chuckle looking like a complete tool. The result was that I creeped her out.

Then, a while later I was in the loo musing over the happenings of the day. And suddenly I hear this voice inside me that suggests me five splendid comebacks that could have nailed that argument to the wall. The same voice goes on to suggest me four brilliant compliments which would have definitely made a lasting impact on my crush who probably thinks that I am a retard. That voice is my brain’s.

But that’s not all. My brain instills in me these crazy urges on very crucial nights. Generally, on the eve of my examinations, I have this sudden hankering to sketch something or read about Attila the Hun’s lineage or something else. And I am driven by an inspiration which could probably match Michelangelo’s before he attempted the Sistine Chapel, to fulfill these urges. As such, I spend crucial hours sketching a werewolf on a door or start cramming knowledge totally irrelevant to the exam which I barely scrape through in the end. I am never bothered by these urges once the exams are over.


And lastly, the most destructive aspect of my brain. Furnishing wrong information at the wrong place and wrong time. This happened in the Synthetic Biology class when the professor asked, “Have you heard about Carpal Tunnel Syndrome?”…Now I will recount entire thought process that ensued:

Brain: Go on! Raise your hand! Remember that time when we read about it.

Me : Well you see I am a bit sketchy with the details. Actually apart from the name, I don’t remember anything.

Brain: Don’t be ridiculous. I will access the memory vault and you will have all the information in no time. Just raise your hand! Look around, no one knows the answer.

So hesitatingly, I raised my hand and no sooner did I do this than I received that memory. It was not some article or wiki page but a non-veg joke. It was about a guy who caught his son masturbating for the umpteenth time and was chiding him. He said, “Son, if you keep on going at this rate, no one could save you from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome”.

And that was it. I didn’t respond for a few seconds. Looking at my flushed face, my prof repeated the question. I started stuttering, blurting out random irrelevant stuff because while I was getting over the fact that I was only a few moments shy of uttering the word “masturbating” in front of a female professor, my brain suggested that I should let out a laugh as the joke was funny. Somehow, I braced myself and said that I knew about this syndrome but I cannot describe it right now. I darted out of the class as soon as the session was over and let out a sigh of relief.

So considering the above instances, I guess it’s safe to assume that my brain is not my ally. I sometimes remember that scene from Game of Thrones (Epic TV Series and even more Epic Books) in which Ned Stark was held at knifepoint in his time of need by his “supposed” ally Littlefinger. I can actually visualize myself as Stark and my brain as Littlefinger sporting a fiendish smile. And in Littlefinger’s voice, my brain says, “I told you not to trust me!”…  



The Best Superhero of all!!

No Sarcasm, No satires and No cynicism today. I know it’s not my style but the day demands it and so I am writing something straight from the heart.

So Superheroes…..Tell me which one comes to your mind when I say, “The Best Superhero of all”!…..The Avengers were pretty awesome especially The Hulk and I am pretty sure most of you are dying for The Dark Knight to return. But there is one  superhero whom many of us forget to consider.

He does not fly but he makes sure that our hopes and dreams sore as high as possible and the thrill one gets just being around him is much greater than the thrill of flying. He does not save the world but he is always there to save your day no matter how old and capable you are. He does not teach Supervillains a lesson but when you are caught doing something wrong, his one stare is enough to make you want to be a better person.

You grow up and start struggling to tackle the problems which life puts in your path. Amidst this struggle, you feel nothing but awe when you start contemplating how easily these problems used to disappear when this superhero handled them. He has always been and will continue to be the rock of your life, the one unshakable support, always holding your hand no matter how slippery life becomes.

This superhero is known by many names across the world. I call him Babuji. So this Father’s Day (if you don’t do it everyday)  wish your dad and tell him how much you appreciate the presence of such a superhero like him in your life.  Trust me, this this will make your superhero even mightier.

To all the Dads in the world, Happy Father’s Day……You guys seriously rock!!!!

Keep Your Leftovers To Yourself!!

Time and again, I have asked people to at least look into what they are spreading….I mean it hardly takes 10 seconds to google something. But all my advice falls to deaf ears. I cant figure out what’s the rush to put something up as your status. Yes, I know it is out of concern. But let me tell you something….The trouble your Hoaxes cause is way bigger than your “concerns”.

I have been told that this message has been in circulation for quite some time now. But it recently came into my notice. I assume many of you must have seen this and a few of you might have re-posted it as well.

The message reads as:

Dear friends, I would like to share one message with all my fb friends— If you have a function/party at your home and when you see lots of food may get wasted ,Pls don’t hesitate to call 1098 (IN INDIA ONLY) – child help line. They will come and collect the food. Please circulate this message which can help feed many children. PLEASE, DON ‘T BREAK THIS CHAIN, “Helping hands are better than Praying Lips”
copy n paste takes only few seconds..:)”

THIS IS A HOAX. 1098 is the helpline for Children’s phone emergency outreach service  for children in need of care and protection. Their website is http://childlineindia.org.in/ They clearly mention it on their homepage that this message is actually a hoax. They do not pick up or distribute your goddamned leftovers. Just think of the time and resources wasted in managing the high call volumes generated because of this message, hundreds of calls asking to pick up their leftovers. I can see the appeal in the message….Helping hands are better than Praying Lips….But I can assure you that you are helping no one….you are just adding to their existing burden by spreading such a HOAX!!

I can tolerate false information meant to promote political causes…But this time I have had it. I mean what kind of a sick person could start this. I assume the phrase “Devoid of all morality” would be an understatement for such a person.

So, I urge anyone sane out there to kindly BREAK THIS CHAIN should you ever come across it.